The Coffee Baron of Caffe Pronto

I see that the coffee word is spreading – fast…

Oh yes! My favourite time of year has finally arrived! The culmination of the schools rowing season – SA Junior Champs! The cream of South African Schools rowers gathered to battle it out against their foes, and with them,,, all of their delightful supporters.. The banter, the smiles, the joking, the flirting. Its another world out there.. Its my world. Were there any special quotes, anecdotes or moments? All were special – from when we arrived and I could hear cries of “Baron, thank goodness you are here” and “we missed you Baron” and “Oh Baron, I wish I could convince you to bring me coffee every morning”…..

So, this was a welcome back into the world in which I revel – here are some visuals of the day!

 Notice the absolutely sensational women, waiting… in anticipppppppation……. Notice the gorgeous blue water, where the young warriors did battle….. Notice the absolutely sensational women – oh I just said that..

So,,, I wear these copper things on my wrist, as a sign of my independence from the norm. I have come to discover, that when I am unhappy, or not well,,,,, they are dull in colour. They have been EXTREMELY dull for some time now.

This weekend, I did a coffee gig for the first time in a while. Half an hour into the gig…. They were shiny.

Is it the coffee? The interaction? The crowds? Or, could it just be, that this particular type of event,draws the most gorgeous women, who are not adverse to some harmless flirting, and, indeed, who love to reciprocate.

Or could it just be, that I was back in the Land of The Baron, and out of the Baronland?

Riding through the traffic on my chariot this morning, my mind turned to matters of importance.. Coffee, and women..
Over the last weekend, I had the pleasure if dishing out caffeine in differing forms to many many delightful women, and, during the weekend, one of my regular ladies said something to me which made me think…

“Baron, how is it that you always flatter us, we always know that its not 100% sincere and said with the tip of tongue in cheek, yet we still love it when you do?”. I turned to her and said “But it is always 100% sincere, as I only flatter gorgeous people”. She giggled and blushed furiously……. This got me thinking..

Is flattery a bad thing? Is a charmer of women labelled as shallow, and when he flatters a woman, is it always insincere? Do women discount flattery, or turn their noses up at men who verbally appreciate beauty?

From my perspective, flattery is just that – a verbalisation of a visual. Some men express it – others dont – the expressive ones get labelled as charmers…..

So, ladies, your thoughts, S’il vous plait? Merci

The tallest trees get the most wind, a rolling stone gathers no moss…. this type of cliche’d saying points to one thing… If you have the status of The Baron, then continual strategy and marketing plans are required. You just HAVE to keep ahead of the pack.

With this in mind, I felt that I needed to revisit the cornerstones of my realm – Outstanding coffee, Fabulous-ness, Attractive Women, and Women. So, I went to my second favourite coffee disher-outter (mine being the favourite, by a loooong shot – of Espresso), ordered my caffiene of choice, along with……. a muffin…….

This got me thinking……. In my business, would I attract more birds if I served muffins with my awesome coffee? If I did attract more birds, would they be more attractive?

The conclusion was: I would probably attract more, but they wouldnt necessarily be more desirable (see evidence below)

Lesson of the day comes in the form of two more bulldust Corporate boardroom sayings.. (1) Are we on the same page????? (2) Quality of customer vs quantity of customer.

In this case, I choose quality.

Being The Baron, I am privileged to travel to many interesting place, and many interesting events, and to meet many interesting people…… Saturday night was no different….

Picture the scene…….. A Boma, surrounded by hessian to wall it off……. many straw bales, and those awesome metal fire pots? You know the kind…….. massive bonfires scattered around…… – Huge Potjies on the boil – all with game meat, bubbling away….

Families, sitting in the firelight, talking and laughing. Kids playing, and not screaming… Friends sharing stories… Sisters pranking brothers by placing cooked Mopani worms on their car seats….. Just wholesome fun.

A live band. Crisp, chilled white wine. The ambience leading to loads of reminiscing, about the good old days, camp-fire stories.

Beautiful cappuccino’s, delivered to the people by The Baron himself.

All of this in the middle of SANDTON.

And,,,,,, the attractive lady feedback… There were many attractive ladies present… just no naughty ones..

Summary…….. Bittersweet

Classic music, like classic cars,,,,,,,,,, is / are  just,,,,, well,,,,, classic! (“classic – exhibiting timeless quality” – Wikipedia).

This weekend was the advent of the Cars in the Park show. This is where a whole bunch of car mal people get together to show off their old cars. The preen, they polish, they gloat, and they drink brandy and coke – my kinda boys!

So, unusually for The Baron, coffee and girls were not his main focal point. And what I have found, if I dont think about girls, I can think of a number of things at once. So,,,,,,, two things meandered through my mind while I was drooling over the maginificent machines on show (Not that I am your typical guy when it comes to that).

THOUGHT 1 – DOES SIZE REALLY COUNT?

Ok so this thought was bordering on girl related thoughts, but, not really….. It was Inspired by these lovely chickens:

Well,,, Like any bloke – this question always poses a dilemma.. But, I think-while size may be visually appealing, and great for the ego, it may not always be practical?!? Or am I wrong? And when is it too big? I dunno – just random thoughts…

 THOUGHT 2 – OLD OR NEW?

Walking around, there were some really flash new machines on show….

But, somehow they smacked of becoming dated, by next year. And the real interest was not in these, flash – aaaaahhhhaaaaa vehicles. They were impressive, but, a little like the size issue – more ego than anything else..

And then, there were the classics….. At this point my camera ran out of batteries, so you will have to visualise with me. Old vehicles with meticulous attention to detail. Plush Leather, Lounge suite type seats, loads of chrome, Gorgeous gadgets in them, all of which had a real purpose. Miss Macchiato (see “characters” tab), who was with me, asked what the metal signs on the front of them were. These were the AA membership signs that used to be bolted on to the vehicles. These have now been replaced with stickers. Permanence, and longevity, vs practicality and disposability. Interesting.

And then the ultimate –

The Mustang – the symbol of freedom – the one vehicle that is desired by more men of varied ages than any other.

I bought a car – not my dream car, but, definitely a car that will give Ms Macchiato and I loads of fun – and might even attract a few fun maidens too!

Chatting to a friend of mine today, I mentioned that this last weekend, was like moving into a different world. A world containing yester-years characters, yester-years music, but this years cappuccino’s. My consumers lived up to all expectations (see “from push bike to motor bike). They were astounding in their “out-there-ness”.

I promised you a story, and this is it.

Miss Macchiato (see “the characters”) decided that she would oversee operations for the weekend. Coldest freaking start that I have had, in a LONG time – but,,,,, they arrived. Beautiful three wheeled Goldwings, thumping Harley’s, and screaming Superbikes. And of course, all of the classic bikes – they were superb!

Which starts off my thought process of things that struck me..

Should I be worried that

• The first (and only)  Superbike that I owned, is now considered a classic?
• All the Vikings and other bikers are from my era! Where is the next generation of bikers?
• The SAME band played the SAME classics from Creedance and Boston, and the like

The answer – NO! This was given by Miss Machiatto with her continual utternances of “cool” and “awesome” and “he is scary – but I like him”.

So, that was the self affirmation part of the story (AS IF The Baron EVER needed self affirmation).

So, I think…… this blog should be some visuals, and then I will regale some detailed stories later!

(1) Scariest Dad Biker in the world goes to…..

(2) Best band who NEVER forgets the songs from last year, or the year before, or……

(3) A Baron’s nightmare for a macchiato to bring home – and the macchiato promptly falls in love with! (seriously – he seems like a pretty cool dude tho!) – Lead singer and Guitarist of the legendary band

So,,,,,,, does this set the tone ????

Now…… This weekend,,,,, is one of my exciting annual occurances. I LOVE this event. Its a gathering of motorbike boykies… Some enthuisiasts, some show offs, some drunkards, some to show off their gang colours on their well worn “lammies” (those are leathers man!) , and some just go for the music. AND  its in Germiston – take from that what you will….. Anyway, so much stuff happens at this event, and I have NO doubt I will be able to regale you with many stories after the event. There will be some quotes of the day, and some fabulous stories. I have one quote / story to share from last years event. It goes something like this:-

So, standing at my place of fabulousness, dishing out my incredible wares, to these rough, big, and ”woes” bikers, I noticed a particularly large gentleman (term used loosely of course), who resembled a mix between a viking, and a large wild boar who had reached the front of my queue.. He sported an extremely well worn leather jacket with all sorts of badges (testiment to his survival of many rallies) and protruding from the front of the lammie, was a stomach of epic proportions, encased in a stretched t-shirt. my eyes came to rest on the inscription on his shirt which read, in big, bold words “PRAAT AFRIKAANS OF F*%& OFF!”.  Bearing in mind that this gentleman had been waiting in the queue for some half an hour, I felt, that I held the power (that coupled with the fact that I am The Baron), I decided to step up to the plate, in a manner of speaking…

Big Viking person – “Een swart Koffie met brandy asb”

The Baron – “I dont speak Afrik, sir, perhaps it is you that should F*%& off?”

Big Viking person – “Sorrie, one black koffie, wiff brandy please”

The Baron – “Met die grootste plesier Meneer, dit sal R 25 wees, dankie”

Big Viking person – “windgat soutie”

The Baron – I beg your pardon?

Much later, The Baron and Big Viking person were spotted quaffing ale’s together and singing Creedance at the tops of their highly tuned voices.

This is going to be legendary – hold your collective breaths for the update!

Ahhhhhh the joy of fresh air, fresh coffee, smiling faces and ultra fit bodies and ultra fit bodies – oh I said that already!

What drives people to get up in the middle of the night (seemingly) to hop onto their ultra modern and high tech bikes and dash off into the mud and grime? To arrive back after having subjected themselves to hours of this to hop into their motor vehicles, and go home to catch up on the board pack that is due on Monday? One of life’s great mysteries.

I dont know, and am not going to ponder it. Because,,,,,,,, preceeding and post the event, they do crave the ultimate beverage, from the ultimate source, and we were there to deliver. they came in all forms, from the hoards of bike people……

To the spectators and supporters (who I prefer, cause they are NORMALLY cleaner and less smelly!)..